I'd sink us to swim
by liviafan1
Summary: Beckett's escort to cousin Sofia's wedding bails at the last minute. Castle swoops in, eager for a night out with her after the progress they've made in "Sucker Punch." Season 2 AU. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Takes place in the time between "Sucker Punch" and "The Third Man."

A belated birthday present for Marissa. Love you, lady!

* * *

He shows up a few days later, after Montgomery has given them some time to recuperate from Coonan. He hopes she's a little more at ease, the image of the Beckett who shared a meal with him at the end of the day, who wanted him around when she caught the son of a bitch responsible for murdering her mother.

His smile immediately deflates when he sees her slouched over her desk, her phone cradled between her ear and shoulder, her mouth tight and grim. She's got the end of a pencil pressed against the other cheek. Castle sets her latte down in front of her and she looks up at him, shoots him a tired, but grateful smile. She lifts the cup in thanks and takes a long sip.

"I'm doing my best to figure something out, Sof," she grates out, rolling her eyes. "I don't mind doing it alone, you know." She tosses her pencil onto her desk and leans back in her chair, tossing her wrist over her head. "Yes, I know _you _mind."

Castle sits down in his chair, immediately intrigued. He catches Esposito's eye, but the detective looks solemn, almost —

Scared?

"Look, I can't help it that _Esposito bailed - _" she shoots the Hispanic detective a death glare, "but I promise that I'll come up with something, okay?" she says soothingly. "Don't stress. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Bye."

She slams the phone down with a groan. "Esposito, I swear to _God _you better sleep with one eye open tonight," she seethes.

Esposito winces. "I'm sorry, Beckett. My abuela will kill me if I don't show up at her 80th birthday party."

"Oh, not if I get to you first."

"Is there a, uh, problem?" Castle interjects gently.

Beckett sighs, tears her laser eyes from Esposito. Castle swears they soften a little on his face, but he supposes they'd do that for anyone who _isn't _Esposito. "My cousin Sofia is getting married tomorrow. A few hundred people, kind of a big affair."

"Sounds fun."

Beckett stares at him, unblinking. "Yeah, okay. Anyway, Sofia, social butterfly that she is, has nine bridesmaids, including me. But there are only eight groomsmen and she asked me if I'd choose my own escort. I locked Esposito up months ago, but the idiot forgot about his grandmother's birthday until yesterday."

"And because this is a grand affair – "

"Sofia wouldn't exactly be thrilled if I walked down the aisle alone," she finishes for him.

"Well," Castle preens, "I just happen to know a ruggedly-handsome man who's available tomorrow evening." He grins.

"Oh, I already asked Ryan. He's busy."

"I – Ryan?" his voice goes up an octave before he catches the glint in her eye, the smirk on her lips. "Very funny, detective."

She hums. "That's very nice of you to offer, Castle, but I couldn't possibly do that to you."

"But you'd do it to me?" Esposito squeaks out from across the room.

"Keep it up Espo and I'll be phoning your abuela myself," she says, her syrupy sweet voice betraying the threat in her words.

"I'll have you know that I love weddings, Beckett," Castle says, waggling his brows.

"Well, you have been married twice," she throws back with a wry smile.

He winces. "Cheap shot. You're lucky I don't scar easily."

She lifts an eyebrow. "Lucky? I'm not sure that's the word I would've picked."

"Come on, it'll be fun. Promise. I'll be the perfect gentleman."

She narrows her eyes, as if to ponder him. "I'll think about it and get back to you by the end of the day."

He shrugs, leaning back into his chair. He'll take it. "All right, but don't let that Beckett pride get in the way of making cousin Sofia happy."

"Yeah, implying that I'm prideful isn't winning you any favors here, Castle."

"Got it."

They put the conversation to bed then, so he whips out his phone, flipping through new additions to the App store while she finishes a small stack of paperwork. He hopes they get a call about a murder so the day speeds up a little faster.

But by mid-morning, there's been nothing. Though Castle has thoroughly enjoyed being a party to Esposito's anxiety, which seems to abate until Kate throws out another passive-aggressive comment about being left standing at the altar.

He continues to tread lightly, even springs for lunch for everyone. It's not enough to dissuade Beckett's dirty looks, but it's a start and Espo knows it. Castle's begun to lose count of the number of times he's tried to get back in her good graces with a greasy burger or a carton of lo-mein. Damn it if that woman doesn't love food.

Castle's the perfect gentleman all day, keeps his half-baked ideas to a minimum — which is especially hard today because he's always restless without a case — and refreshes her coffee cup when she needs it. She sees right through him – they didn't give her the gold shield for nothing – but he thinks it helps, anyway.

He really wants to do this for her.

Well, for _them _if he's being honest with himself. He's not sure how much progress he'll be able to make with her, but he'd like to at least keep the softness in her eyes around for awhile.

She kicks him out at 5 o'clock so she can get in a workout on the mats downstairs. He doesn't dare ask her about tomorrow, but she calls out to him once he's halfway to the elevator. "Pick me up at 1 tomorrow, Castle."

He grins and thanks God he's out of eyesight at this point because he's practically beaming. "On the dot," he scrapes out.

* * *

She regrets the decision as soon as the words are out of her mouth. It's a precarious situation for them – a _wedding_. There'll be wine, delicious food, dancing and –

Oh God. What'd she get herself into?

Her cheeks flush just thinking about him showing up at her apartment dressed in a tux. She still has dreams about that night in the red dress…

Fuck. She should call and cancel. Maybe if she called Esposito's grandmother herself and explain the situation. _Surely _she'd understand the bind she's in. Even sympathize, maybe?

Argh, no. As pissed as she is at Esposito, she's not that selfish. Who knows how many years his abuela has left?

Yeah, she's going to hell.

"Beckett, I'm out. You need anything?"

Her eyes snap to Esposito's. She waves him off. "I'm fine. I'll see you Monday."

"Okay." He hesitates. "Did you – "

"Castle's going with me," she blurts out.

Esposito grins like the Cheshire cat, waggling eyes reminiscent of her favorite writer. "Really?"

Kate rolls her eyes. "Yes, really. Now get out of here."

"Yes, ma'am." He clears his throat. "Right after I tell Ryan," he mumbles under his breath as he races off in search of his partner.

Kate grits her teeth and powers her computer down. She should really go home, have some wine, and wrap her head around the situation. Maybe Lanie's free. She could really use another opinion.

Kate's cell buzzes on her desk. Speaking of Lanie. "Hey," Kate greets her. "I was just – "

"Calling to tell me that Writer Boy's your date for the wedding?"

"You think I can hire a hit man to infiltrate Esposito's grandmother's birthday party?" She pinches the bridge her nose. Forget wine. She needs vodka. Lots and lots of vodka.

"He's just excited. We all are."

Kate grabs her jacket from the back of her chair, slings an arm through it. "Well, don't be. It's _just _a wedding. We're just friends. He's just a man."

"Have you been repeating that to yourself since you agreed to let him take you?"

Kate scoffs. "No." At least not in those exact words.

"I'll bring the wine." The line clicks dead.

* * *

**Next part will be posted in the next few days.**

**xo,**

**Liv**


	2. Chapter 2

"You're being a little ridiculous, don't you think?"

Kate scowls, takes a long sip of her wine at the tone in her best friend's voice. "No."

"He likes you."

"Maybe that part's true," Kate agrees slowly.

Lanie lifts an eyebrow. "And what part _isn't _true?"

"You know." Kate gestures.

"Oh, I really don't. Enlighten me."

"Friends, Lane. _Friends_."

"So then what does it matter if he takes you to this thing or not?"

"I don't want him to make a bigger deal of it than it is." She pauses, indignant. "You know, this is exactly the reason that I asked Esposito. What if Castle gets hurt?"

Lanie sits her wineglass down on the coffee table. "You mean what if Kate Beckett gets hurt?"

Kate sighs. "That's not what I said."

"Yeah, well, you got your own language in that subtext of yours, girl. Had to learn it a long time ago if I wanted to keep up with you," Lanie hums disapprovingly. "Look just go in there with an open mind. Don't stress about it – what's that phrase they say nowadays? Keep calm and press on or somethin'?"

Kate suppresses a smile. "Keep calm and carry on?"

"Yeah, that. Do that. Forget Castle. Forget you. Forget you and Castle. He's your friend; you're going to a wedding. The end."

Yeah, if only it were that simple.

* * *

Castle doesn't eat a damn thing all morning. He tries to nibble a few bites of toast at his mother's coaxing but it's no use. He calls it a wash and settles for a few glasses of water and a stick of gum.

He can't remember the last time he was this nervous – probably somewhere around the release of his first book.

He was doing fine until he'd had the realization that it wouldn't just be Beckett at a wedding, it'd be Beckett and _Beckett's family _at a wedding. Even though they're just friends – partners – he can't quite bear the thought of making a terrible impression on her family. He hasn't met many people he hasn't been able to charm, but it wouldn't surprise him if clan Beckett falls into that category, if they're anything like Kate.

He's especially nervous to met Kate's father.

He's dressed and ready by noon, flops on the couch for a few minutes to flip through something mindless on television. His stomach growls and he's positively famished. He hopes this swanky soiree comes with a full menu.

An open bar would be nice, too.

The television doesn't work and he's antsy as hell, so he leaves early. He'll just drive slow. It'll be fine.

He doesn't drive slow. At all. His anxiety manifests itself in the form of a lead foot and he's 15 minutes early. He's at her door, lifting his hand to knock and he can already see himself sitting awkwardly in her living room while he waits for her to finish getting ready. God, what a damn spaz.

He sucks in a breath and raps softly on her door.

"Just a second!" he hears her call. She's there a minute later, pleasantly flushed and –

Absolutely stunning.

"You're early," she admonishes gently.

"You're beautiful," he says softly. Her plum-colored dress just barely sweeps the floor and she hasn't put on any shoes yet, so he's a solid few inches taller than her, which pleases him. She's all soft in her strapless sweetheart neckline, bare feet and a cascade of milk chocolate waves around her face.

The warmth in her smile reaches the crinkle in her eyes. "Thanks. You're not so bad yourself, Castle."

His breath hitches in his throat. "You, uh, need a few more minutes?"

She nods. "Yeah, just a couple." She steps aside to let him in. "Make yourself at home."

She pads back the hallway to her bedroom. "Hey, you mind if we stop for a couple of burgers on the way? I'm starving and they're not serving dinner until five." She calls over her shoulder, nabbing her shoes from their spot on by her bedroom door.

Fuck, this woman is incredible.

"Twist my arm."

"I mean, if you like it rough, Castle…" She smirks back at him before disappearing from view.

"Not on the first date," he shoots back.

Her shoes clatter loudly to the floor.

Round one: Richard Castle.

* * *

She begrudgingly lets him drive after he argued that she'd need both hands to eat so as not to dribble on her dress. He can't exactly imagine her slopping on herself, even with one hand on the wheel — she's always been all finesse and grace — but he really wanted to drive. And apparently she was in a giving mood.

If only he'd thought ahead to bring the Ferrari.

Kate would _love_ the Ferrari. It makes his pulse thrum just thinking about it.

Next time. Definitely next time.

She licks the ketchup from her thumb, shoots him a little smile. "Hit the spot?" he asks her, amused.

She hums, nodding. "Definitely.

"Can we get milkshakes next time?" he asks.

She lifts an eyebrow — a challenge. "Next time?"

He swallows hard. "Yeah." _Next time, Kate_. Please let there be a next time.

She shrugs. "All right. But you're buying."

He laughs. "Done." His eyes glance at the time. "How much further?"

"About ten miles, I think."

"Feel like some rock 'n roll?"

She grins, beats him to the FM dial. "Always."

When they arrive, a few of the guests have started to trickle in. Kate leaves him to schmooze with the groom and the rest of his wedding party while she checks in with Sofia and the other bridesmaids. She hesitates when she turns away from him at the door of the choir room, as if afraid to leave him there with a bunch of men he's never met before.

"I'll be fine," he reassures her.

"Chris is a really nice guy," she offers brightly. Her concern is amusing, if unnecessary.

He chuckles. "Beckett, I'll be fine. Really. Now, get out of here."

"All right, all right," she grumbles, scrunching her nose. Adorable.

She's almost out the door when he taps on her shoulder. She stiffens, just a little, looks back at him over her shoulder.

"I'll be the one in the tux waiting to escort the gorgeous woman in the purple dress," he says softly.

"Cheesy, Castle. So cheesy," she huffs out. But a light sparks in her eyes and he barely makes out the flush in her cheeks before she dashes away, leaving him to a room full of strangers.

Every one in the room is so young and fresh-faced, can't be more than 29. They're all polite and friendly, but he remembers what it was like to be that age, to think that you had the most important thing going on all the time. Chris, for his part, seems to be the most mature out of all of them (excluding Castle), the one with the solid head on his shoulders, strong and unwavering.

He reminds him of Castle when he was that age. Not that he was always the most mature, but things had really fallen into place for him then, career-wise. He'd finally felt stable, felt like he could tackle anything the world threw at him — invincible.

And then everything with Gina had fallen apart not long after and he'd never gotten that feeling back again, never quite reached that unwavering peak. He'd been arrogant – is still arrogant – but at least maybe a little more grounded in reality.

The flare of hope in Chris's eyes as he tightens his tie – perfecting it just so – cuts Castle in a way he doesn't expect. He hasn't lost hope of finding it again – in fact he's felt closer than ever to it recently, which scares the hell out of him. He hasn't put a label on how he feels about Beckett, but it's a new part he's exploring and it's different, so very different from anything.

And twenty minutes later, when they're lining up, jittery with it all and he spots her from across the hallway, light with laughter as she brushes a kiss against the bride's cheek — it all sucks him in the gut.

She's the only one that brings the flare to his eyes.

Her gaze lands on his, her megawatt smile enough to bring him to his knees and beg for mercy.

Round two: Katherine Beckett.

* * *

_This just became a three-shot, as it got away from me a little when I was finishing up. Look for the next (and last!) chapter within the next few days._

_xo,_

_Liv_


	3. Chapter 3

The look in his eyes unnerves her – in both the best and worst ways possible. Sofia slips out of her grasp to scramble up her father, leaving Kate to the fate of her partner — soft, crinkly blue eyes and all.

Her smile flickers at her lips as she swallows a knot in her throat. He doesn't notice, though, merely holds out his arm for her to take. She hesitates for a brief moment before slipping her hand through.

"I see the groomsmen didn't eat you alive," she starts. "A shame, really," she teases, eager to slide back into their comfortable banter.

He narrows his eyes at her. "I don't think Sofia would be too pleased."

Kate shrugs. No big deal. "Worst case, I'd scrounge up my dad."

Castle blanches, glancing around, jerking her into him as he flails around. "Where is your Dad?"

"He's inside. Relax, Castle. Jesus." What the hell is wrong with him? He looks – whoa. Is he –

No. He can't be.

She stares at him, cocking her head. He stills then, his eyes slipping closed in relief. She can't really believe what she's seeing right now. When he opens them to find her staring, he frowns. "What?"

"Are you…nervous about meeting my Dad, Castle?"

He scoffs. "_What?_ Beckett, don't be ridiculous. He's just a…man."

"So your little flip out right now was just, what, exactly?"

"Just wanted to make sure he wasn't late," he tries smoothly.

She's not really sure how she feels about this. She'd find it adorable under some circumstances, she supposes (dating ones). But this – it's wigging her out a little bit. And if he can't keep his cool when he meets her Dad later, she's sure to get the third degree from the Beckett patriarch.

She's so not prepared for those questions.

"Right," she says doubtfully. "Think you can pull it together in the next two minutes? Ceremony's about to start."

He straightens up, stands a little taller as he adjusts his tie. "I got this, Beckett."

She rolls her eyes. Honestly, this man.

But she walks down the aisle with a smile on her face, her stomach fluttering as he glances his free thumb across the back of her hand in reassurance. Her eyes fall onto her father, who gives her a nod and a little smile, a look in his eyes that she can't quite place. Longing, maybe.

And then the ache cuts through her chest, growing with each step she takes to the end of the aisle. Her mother isn't here for Sofia's wedding.

And her mother won't be here for Kate's, either.

She falters a little, but Castle picks up the slack. He tilts his head, his mouth an inch from her ear. "You okay?" he murmurs.

She sucks in a breath. Calm down, Kate. "Yeah," she breathes out. "Thanks," she whispers.

He nods, and they've reached the end of the aisle now. He lingers for a beat too long, squeezing her hand briefly, not quite ready to let go.

But she's fine. She is.

She extracts herself from him and makes her way up to the other bridesmaids. His steady gaze burns a hole in her back, and a shiver wracks her spine. When she turns around, his eyes are still on her, slowly falling away as the processional music starts and Sofia makes her way down the aisle.

Her mind wanders as she watches Sof with Kate's uncle, looking positively radiant. She wonders if she'll ever make it to this point in her life, to a place where she can embrace someone with her whole being, rather than just a tiny corner of her heart. There hasn't been much room since her mother passed, but she hopes –

Maybe someday.

The look in Chris's eyes takes her breath away. She's only met the man a handful of times and he's young – they both are, really – but Kate knows how much he loves her cousin. His baby blues are bright and wide and he fidgets, can't hardly wait to slip Sofia's hand into his.

Oh, man.

Kate swallows hard as Sofia reaches the end of the aisle, brushing a kiss against her father's cheek before he slides away – a little reluctant, Kate thinks – to join Sofia's mother in their spot in the first pew.

She can feel Castle's steady gaze return to her and it's unnerving. She purposely avoids whatever lingers there and her heart thumps erratically in her chest as the Reverend begins to speak.

_Keep your eyes to yourself, Castle,_ she wills him.

And when she chances a glance a few moments later, he's left her for the happy couple. His smile is genuine, but a little too tight around his mouth. His wistfulness and yearning is unmistakable.

It's then that she realizes she has no idea why Castle's marriages fell apart. She always wondered if it just got to be too much — his career, having a child at a young age. She's met Meredith and she can't say she's all that surprised that it didn't last. Castle has his superficial moments, but now that she's started to really see what's below that, she can't imagine him tolerating someone like Meredith for very long.

She's never asked him and he's never volunteered, but she'd always assumed –

Well, she always assumed he got bored. His muse for writing Derrick Storm seemed to fall away fast and hard, from what he told her about writing, and she thought it was just a part of his personality – growing tired until the next shiny thing appeared in front of him.

She'd already closed the case on him, deemed it open and shut with his failed marriages on hand as evidence, the women he's splashed across Page Six as the perfect character witnesses.

But then she met Kyra, new evidence that's forced her to take a deeper look. She thought her first opinion on Castle came from her gut, but everything that happened with Coonan tells her that maybe her instincts aren't always right.

Which is terrifying in its own regard.

She's desperate to ask him and the timing couldn't be worse. But, this isn't her day. It's Sofia's.

She expels a breath, forcing herself to relax, and focuses her attention on the new bride and groom. Sofia is practically glowing as she slips the ring onto Chris's finger, grinning her trademark thousand-watt smile.

Then the ceremony is over in a blur and Sof can't be contained as she jumps with it all, before pressing her mouth to her husband's. The church erupts in laughter before the recessional music swells through the congregation.

Kate lets out a laugh of her own, relieved that the formal part is over. Time for a nice tall glass of champagne to calm her nerves. Thank God.

Her partner rejoins her at her side and she steadies her smile, slipping her hand into his before they follow the rest of the party down the aisle.

"You okay, Beckett?" he murmurs, turning his head just slightly.

She squeezes his hand in reassurance. "I'm good, Castle." She lets out a breath. "Thanks."

"Time to party?" he asks, waggling his brows.

She nudges him – incorrigible man – but her smile doesn't waver. "Yes," she laughs. "Time to party."

* * *

They forgot about pictures until one of the bridesmaids snagged them away just as they were headed out the door. The look on her face was the most adorable one he'd seen all day. The woman was hungry and stressed.

An hour and a half later, Castle thinks they're finally done, but then Sofia dismisses the groom's side of the party to snap photos with the bridal party alone.

Kate groans. "Why don't I just meet you at the reception?" He starts to protest, but she cuts him off with the shake of her head. "I'll just catch a ride with one of the bridesmaids. No reason we should both have to suffer," she says wryly.

He agrees reluctantly, the rumble in his stomach doing most of the talking. Besides, it's totally worth the swift kiss she presses to his cheek before scurrying off to fulfill her duties.

Absolutely worth it.

It's another hour and he's wolfed down a couple of breadsticks and a handful of dinner mints. He really shouldn't be hungry after those burgers they munched on the way to the ceremony, but he'd been too nervous to eat anything other than a small sandwich.

And now that his anxiety has mostly worn off, his appetite has begun to catch up with him. The open bar is in full swing, at least, and tempting, but Castle would prefer to have some real food in him first.

"Castle, if you ate all the breadsticks, I swear to God, I'll kill you." He whips around to find her standing over him, surveying the contents of the table.

"They're bottomless," he protests. "They just haven't made it back around yet," he adds.

She sighs, flouncing down into her chair. "Toss me a couple dinner mints," she grumbles, offering her outstretched palm.

"Are they not announcing us?" Castle asks, confused as he watches the rest of the bridal party filter in and mill around their seats. He pours a handful of mints into her palm.

Kate greedily tosses them into her mouth. "Sof wanted to fly solo on this one. Just her and Chris," she explains. She shrugs, rolling with it. "Her day, you know."

"Of course," he offers. "Just haven't been privy to that method myself."

Kate nods. "Did you have a big wedding party?"

Castle grimaces. "It was pretty small when I married Meredith. I wasn't making much yet at that point, so it wasn't as grand as I'm sure she would want now," he rolls his eyes. "With Gina, it was a bit flashier," he admits. "And at the risk of making sure we didn't offend anyone, we had nine on each side, I think."

Kate whistles. "Impressive."

"If by 'impressive' you mean exhausting, sure," he quips. God, what a nightmare.

Kate laughs. "Had enough weddings to last you a lifetime, Castle?"

He shrugs. "I think I'd do it again if it was the right person, but something smaller and more intimate. But only if I knew absolutely certain that she was the one." He pauses. "But I guess you never get married with the intent to divorce, do you?"

"Did you think Meredith and Gina were the one?"

"I did at the time. But how can you possibly know real love until it slaps you in the face?"

"And how do you know if you're being realistic about what love really is or if you're just settling?" Kate slowly finishes.

"Exactly!" He nods enthusiastically. "See, you get it."

They pause at the same moment and it punches him in the gut, her words, and he's never wanted to be with her more than in this moment.

Sensing the shift in the air, she clears her throat and pastes a bright smile on her face. "Feel like grabbing a drink?"

He shrugs. "I was gonna wait til I had some more food in me, but what the hell?" They make their way to the end of the small line just as they hear the DJ tap gently on the microphone.

"Ladies and gentleman, may I have your attention, please?" the voice booms across the reception hall. "Presenting to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Christopher and Sofia Brooks!"

Loud applause and cheers wind through the room, bouncing off the deliriously happy couple, who practically float to their seat. Castle can't help but hope that they make it. He knows Kate has been a little stressed out with her high-maintenance cousin, but he also knows how much she loves her, how she just wants the best for her.

The look on her face right now says it all. She looks happy, if not a little wistful.

Whether or not it's with him or some other lucky guy, he hopes she finds it someday. He can't think of anyone more deserving than Kate.

Right on cue, Castle hears the faint tapping of a metal spoon against a glass and it's mere seconds before it spreads like wildfire through the room. Sofia blushes, but grins, before she smudges her lips against her husband's. He thumbs at the pink spots on her cheeks in reverence.

"They're adorable," Castle admires softly.

Kate hums her agreement, shooting him a gentle smile. "They are." She wants to say something else, but she's hesitant. But the way she's looking at him - like he's _more _\- it locks his heart down in a steel cage.

_Stay with me, Beckett._

But then she shuts down with a deprecating shake of her head and nods to the bar, where they're up next. "What'll you have to drink, Castle?"

He clenches his fists at his side, but doesn't feel he has a claim to his frustration. They've only been partners about a year now and while he thinks they've grown rather fond of each other, aware of a mutual attraction, he's never asked her for more.

And she's never asked him for more, either.

But now -

Now he's never been more aware of how he wishes things were different. He knows she doesn't take him seriously, but he's desperate to change that, to make her see that if it were the right person - maybe her - he'd be serious as a heart attack.

Judging by the furrow of her brow, he's waited too long to answer. "Castle, you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. Just...lost my train of thought," he supplies easily. "How about a whiskey sour?"

She groans, her eyes fluttering at the thought. "That sounds amazing." She turns to the bartender with a grin. "Two whiskey sours, please."

"I'm not gonna have to wheel you out of here, am I, Beckett?" Castle jokes.

Kate laughs. "In your dreams, Castle."

Oh, you have no idea, Beckett.

Round three: who the fuck knows.

* * *

_This little story got away from me months ago and I've only now returned to it. I've made a commitment (mostly humoring myself for my guilt - ha) that I can't post until a story is finished. This is complete (on my end) and will be updated through the end of the week until everything's been posted._

_I'm following this pattern with my other incomplete stories to avoid long breaks between updating, so at some point in the next few months, "can't start a fire..." and "smoke rings..." will be finished, too._

_If you're still following, you're a damn champ._

_xo,_

_Liv_


	4. Chapter 4

"Katie, who's your friend?"

Castle nearly spits out his drink at the appearance of Kate's father, who's waiting for them as they turn away from the bar, delectable whiskeys in hand.

Damn, he should've asked for a shot, too.

Kate rolls her eyes and shoots him a look - _Jesus, get it together _\- and turns back to her dad, smiling that full-watt grin that Sofia shares. "Hi Dad," she says softly, laying a hand on the older man's shoulder before pressing a kiss to his cheek. "This is Richard Castle, the civilian investigator who shadows me at the precinct."

"The famous Castle. I've heard a lot about you, son," Jim says, offering out his hand.

Castle accepts it firmly, cocking his head. "You have?" He whips his head to Kate, a smirk slowly creeping onto his features. "He has?"

Kate scoffs. "May have mentioned you once or twice. Don't let it go to your head."

"Too late," Castle jokes.

"I haven't had the pleasure of reading your work, Mr. Castle, but my wife always loved your books."

What? Kate never -

She never told him that.

He feels her go still beside him and he can't bear to look to take a glimpse, to see the strain on her face that must be there right now. He swallows hard. "Thank you, sir. I'm honored. She sounded like an incredible woman, so that," he breaks off, takes a breath, "that means a lot to me," he finishes quietly.

Jim's gaze flits between the two of them and Castle knows he can tell that something's a little off, that maybe Kate was keeping that intimate little detail from Castle for a reason. "Anyway, I just came up for a glass of soda water and wanted to introduce myself," he says hesitantly. "Katie, I've got an early morning tomorrow. Heading up to the cabin with Walt for the rest of the weekend."

She smiles. "Come say goodbye before you leave?"

Her dad smiles. "Will do." He turns back to Castle. "It was nice to meet you, Mr. Castle. Maybe the two of us can get a cup of coffee sometime soon? I'd love to hear how my daughter's treating you."

Castle laughs. "She treats me well, sir, but coffee sounds great."

Jim nods. "Good. When I get back next week, I'll get your number from Katie."

"Sounds like a plan."

Jim resumes his path to the bar, squeezing Kate's shoulder as he passes. "Have fun, honey."

"Thanks, Dad."

Castle opens his mouth, desperate to ask her about what Jim said, but Kate cuts him off. "I think they're getting ready to serve dinner. Shall we?" Her smile is a little forced, he thinks.

She's not ready to talk about it.

"Uh, sure." He follows her back to their table, can't help but notice the way she holds the tension in her shoulders as she walks. He wishes she'd let him press his fists there, or the pads of his thumbs, and smooth it all away.

But if he can't, maybe the alcohol will ebb some of it away. Or maybe some talking. They should probably do at least a little bit of talking -

He'd hate to think he's the only one who feels the equilibrium slowly shifting between them.

"What's for dinner?" he asks as they find their seats again.

"It's five courses, I think. Main dish is salmon."

Castle wrinkles his nose. Salmon's not his favorite, but he's starving, so anything will do. He takes a long gulp of his whiskey sour, relishes the way the bite of the liquor slides down the back of his throat. Better already.

He glances over at his partner, who stares down at her glass as she traces the rim with the tips of her fingers. "You okay?" he asks her.

Her head snaps up. "What?" She shakes her head. "Oh, I'm fine. Just a lot on my mind." She shrugs it off, brings the alcohol to her lips and swigs down a few sips.

Riiiiight.

* * *

Kate doesn't know the last time she was so relieved to see a plate of food appear in front of her. She's no stranger to ignoring a hunger pang or two with long hours at the precinct, but she's in need of a reprieve from the Castle Inquisition.

In fairness to him, he hasn't truly been annoying or persistent - at least not verbally, other than the one question - but he doesn't need to be. It's in his posture, the way he nurses his drink, and the stare that burns a hole through the side of her head when he thinks she's not paying attention.

But she's always paying attention. Maybe she wasn't before but ever since Coonan -

She hasn't stopped paying attention.

She wants to tell him the story of her mother and his books, but she knows she won't be able to ignore the little ignition of _whatever_ between them if she tells him. If she tells him how much he meant to her mother, how much his books mean to her, too.

How much _he_ means to her.

She wakes up drenched nearly every morning now, images of him bloody and lifeless seared in her brain, nightmares so real she can touch them with her fingers. She reaches for her phone just as often, finds his number and hovers over it before she changes her mind.

She never stops being relieved to see him greet her at a scene, to put the nightmares back to bed until the next time.

There's always a next time.

"God, that was incredible," Castle moans, polishing off his last bite of the final course, a delectable creme brulee. "Does this mean there won't be wedding cake?" he asks, crestfallen.

Kate laughs. "There's cake, Castle. Though I doubt either of them will shove it into the other's face - "

"Well, that's no fun."

"Tell me about it."

Castle taps his fingers against the table. "So what now, detective?"

She smiles. Always the impatient man. "They have their first dance and then I let you convince me to spin me around the floor for awhile."

Castle beams. "I think I can get onboard with that."

"I thought you might."

They chat idly until the DJ announces the couple's first dance. Kate is pleasantly surprised by how understated and sweet it is. She assumed it would be be some kind of intense choreographed waltz that they'd spent hours and fistfuls of money on.

But their dance is quiet and lovely, a song that Kate's never heard of, but one that clearly means everything to them. She catches Sofia's eye for a brief moment when the music crescendos and the depth of the emotion that lingers there seizes her insides.

Kate's never been in much of a hurry to find someone and settle down - she still isn't, really - but it's moments like these that remind her how lonely it can get sometimes, to go home to an empty apartment, to live with life's burden bearing all its weight, without anyone to shoulder it alongside her.

Though Castle's been doing a hell of a job of that, lately.

And she'd be lying if she said she didn't imagine going home with him sometimes, that he's been making more and more appearances lately not just in her bed, but beside her on the couch, at the table with her in the kitchen, walking beside her at the grocery store, pressed against her in the shower with tangled fingers.

She can't get him out.

"Shall we dance, Beckett?" Castle grins at her, offering his hand.

It's now or never.

"Let's do it, Castle."

She lets him lead her out onto the floor as Fred Astaire's voice sweeps through the hall. Kate has to suppress a smirk as Castle fumbles awkwardly for a second, unsure with what to do with his hands. She squeezes his fingers briefly in an attempt to calm him and he shoots her a sheepish grin before placing his palm on her hip and locking his other hand in hers. She lays a hand on his shoulder, but everything inside of her wants to close the respectable distance between them.

Argh. Everything's driving her crazy today.

"Did I mention how wonderful you look tonight?" Castle murmurs. Oh, but she can get used to hearing that.

Kate ducks her head, a blush steadily creeping into her features. "Thank you, Castle."

She allows herself to lean in an inch or two, nudging his hand to slide from her hip to the curve in her spine. He looks at her curiously, a sarcastic, suggestive comment no doubt rolling on his tongue, but he surprises her, closing his mouth on a pleased little smile.

Well, at least she has a pretty good idea about where his head is at in all of this.

He starts to hum along to the music then and if he wasn't so adorable, she'd think him one of the most insufferable men she's ever met.

There's a fine line, one he's come so close to breaching more times than she can count. Still, there's just something about him that keeps him from toppling over it, something that's taken her far too long to put her finger on -

His heart.

"Castle, I wanna tell you something," she starts softly.

"Beckett?" he asks, frowning in concern.

She steadies herself, hand clenched a little tighter in his. "Earlier my dad mentioned - "

He shakes his head. "Kate, you don't have - "

"I want to," she cuts him off. "Castle, I want to." She sighs. "I thought about telling you, you know, not only about her, but _me_ too," she pauses. "But when we first met, I thought you were so _unbelievably_ arrogant and I didn't want to give you the satisfaction."

She expects him to look wounded, but he's battling a grin. Of course. He knows it.

"I still don't," she shoots him a look, "but I don't see you that way anymore. You're not the man I thought you were."

_Now_ he looks wounded.

"You're better." His eyes snap to hers and the burn of his steady gaze is too much. She ducks her head, her lip caught beneath the tug of her teeth. "I'm not the one who's extraordinary, Castle. _You_ are." She sucks in a breath, finds his eyes again. "And as it turns out, my mother figured that out a hell of a long time before I did."

"How much have you had to drink?" he rasps.

She shrugs. "Enough to do this." She steps into the heat of his body even further, slips her hand from his to join the other at his shoulders.

"Katherine Beckett, what's gotten into you," he murmurs in astonishment.

"Getting my feet wet, Castle. You coming with me?" she asks, tentative fingers smudging the nape of his neck.

His mouth falls onto hers on a body-wracking shudder.

Round four: It's all over.

* * *

**Complete. Thanks for reading!**

**xo,**

**Liv**


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